- one of my good friends was in town visiting. i'm the kind of person that when i know a friend is coming into town i super clean; just in the off chance they want to stop by the apartment. during this super clean freak out mode…i usually go through a couple piles of junk mail and next thing you know i'm cleaning out the fridge. (why? i don't know. i mean are people really going through the fridge to see what's old?) anywho, since i live in a small place. i have a tiny trash can that fills up insanely fast. well there is a trash shoot on every floor in my building. (yes i'm still baffled by this.) i am lucky enough to literally be one door over from the shoot. this means i can literally bolt out my front door and get rid of trash. (hello cheap-o here saves on trash bags) Well this time i apparently thought i was all of a sudden the invisible girl from fantastic four and decided to jet out looking like a homeless person.
red fleece christmas pj bottoms, leopard ballet flats (closest shoes to the door), bright yellow tube top (no i don't wear this out in public…it's just the perfect top to clean in. I GET OVERHEATED OK!).
i gather my trash. walk to the door. listen for the elevator and any possible humans walking by. look out the peep hole. when it sounds & looks clear; i quickly unlock the door and bolt out to the trash compactor room. get out into the hall and take a sigh of relief that there isn't a person in sight. i quickly open the compactor room door. (it's the kind of room were you can't hold the door open and dump your trash. ) i throw my trash down the shoot and bolt back to the door.
IT WON'T OPEN.
i have my first moment of panic (I WILL NOT DIE IN A ROOM OF TRASH!)
i take a second to calm down and try to twist the handle again.
(by this time my "movie scenario" mind has started to reel and i'm already imagining the writers of New Girl hearing about this via twitter or youtube and insisting this happen to Jess on the show.
of course Zooey Deschanel won't look as hideous as me and will be wearing a footed adult onesie
but pulling it off like a rockstar)
naturally i don't have my phone with me or anything so i literally start to yell out.
"hello" "anyone there?"
what seems like hours later…(umm yea. it was for sure no more than 5 minutes) i hear a man's voice say "hello" back. i say in a very timid/frantic voice "the door is jammed. can you pull from the outside?"
the door of course immediately opens and there stands my new neighbor. Mr. smell.
(He literally just moved in directly across the hall one week ago. only met him once at the elevators but dang. he smells so good.)
he quickly says, "are you okay?"
as i start to say my thank you's. I notice Mr. smell giving me the once over. Naturally i blanked on my amazing fashionista style and remember that i have on the most ridiculous looking outfit known to man.
i stop thanking him. say excuse me and start to walk/run back to my apartment.
not before i really seal the deal of embarrassment…and pat him on the shoulder while saying.
"welcome to the building!"
i get back to my apartment safe and sound. shut the door and lean against it trying to recover from disaster-gate 2012. i lock the door and as i'm walking i happen to glance at myself in the mirror out of habit and realize…
I HAVE NOXZEMA CREAM ON MY FACE!
(talk about a welcome wagon of crazy!)
Happy Day Before Friday!!!