Thursday, July 12, 2012

Awkward & Awesomely Tangled Thursday

what does your walk home look like?

Just got the new Pic Jointer App. kind of obsessed

- when i'm about to walk out the door from work and my phone rings... i run back over to my desk to pick's my mom. calling to tell me that on the tv show the doctors (Her Yoda); she learned that hemorrhoid cream helps foot blisters (which i told her i had from all the city exploring i've been doing). now this might not seem awkward...yet!...but...of course as she's telling me this; she can't remember the name of the cream. "what is the name for hemorrhoid cream? i just can't remember." of course i try to whisper "Preparation H" into the phone. of course she can't hear me. i say it a bit louder; trying to be discreet...when i realize my co-worker is literally staring at me in complete horror.

-dinner plans with a friend. i'm on the phone letting her know i have arrived. as i'm talking to her... i happen to turn around and see there is a table of hot guys sitting on the patio behind me. naturally, in my tangled fashion... I straighten my posture, suck in the pre-wined gut and attempt a  "sexy" waiting for my friend pose...when ...."squish" i look down and there is my foot (with my fav sandal) standing in what looks like...the poop of an elephant. I didn't know the circus was in town. did you?

-running up the stairs to catch the train that is fast approaching, making it just in time by a huge jump as the doors are closing. i grab the bar to balance myself. balanced. The train starts to move, i look to my right and next to me I see a man who looks like he could be Shemar Moore's twin staring at me. 
(now remember when i said earlier that i was "running?" well after i run...i wheeze. yep. i'm one of those people.) of course wheezing isn't i abruptly take a "seductive" deep breathe to try disguising the fact that i'm out of shape. The train takes a rough turn... apparently, i underestimated my "seductive breathe holding" abilities because the moment the train started to jerk I started choking on my own breathe. Not just any choke...but the kind of choke that brings tears to your eyes and people around you start to get concerned and ask if you are okay. Mr. Shemar  looks at me and says, "Ma'am are you alright?" (really...did he just ma'am me? Ma'ams aren't sexy...or getting dates with Shemar Moore's twin)  I try to say yes when another cough catches in my throat; resulting in a huge urkel like snort! I hear at least a couple of laughs...
by this time people are full on staring. 
hello awkward
my version of a successful shopping trip

- Hitting up CVS today and the cashier letting me use a 35% off coupon and a 3 buck cvs cash voucher; even though the "rules" say you can't. Thanks man. 

- realizing after a month of living in my new crib...that there's a zip car pick up in my building's parking lot. AND IT'S A MINI COOPER. Hello Italian Job reenactment!!!
Who's in?...(Only Mark Wahlberg look-a-likes need apply.) 

- realizing that my best friend will be here exactly 2 weeks from today! Get excited...our adventures will result in some good blogging. Tooty Tooty Tooty

- just knowing that Schmidt's Party bus is on it's way to Chicago right now. 
(sadly i'm not going...but still!)

- opening the mail today and getting my first fall clothing catalog. What is it about fall clothes that makes me so happy. The sweaters, the boots, the light jackets, the warm tones...oh my.

- officially hitting 1000 views on here AND 100 followers all in the same week. (I'm trying not to automatically think it's my mom trying to figure out how to use gmail and accidentally creating 100 email addresses.) Thanks to whoever you are...hopefully my life stories bring laughter to your life...
and if you feel awkward...
know that it's awesome


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